Detangling is a word used in the natural hair community meaning to comb out the kinks out of the hair. There is a way Type 4C hair gets matted that one needs to take it slow, care in combing it out. Equipments needed: wide-tooth comb,mirror, water, conditioner, distraction, patience and hands. This must be done in a careful manner ( that is if the individual really cares about their edges)  This past week I undid my protective style of braids. And since in school we had a shortage of water…( third world countries problems) I had to wait until I had sufficient water to wash my hair. But the wait got too much and there was no light at the end of the tunnel that there was going to be running water any-time soon so I fetched water in a bucket and washed it. Mind you my hair had been in a PS for 4 weeks. Have you ever gotten complements for things you did not put effort into and makes you feel guilty? I did feel guilty!

My guilt got the best of me and I sat down and detangled the hair. While sitting there wincing at how painful it was, how much hair was falling off, I thought of so many things (my hate for cats, what caused the first world war, what if I just cut of this hair, how many people would be screaming at me, Who is Chrysostom? should I do my assignment? ……many things go through my mind at any given moment its scary) and one of them was principles.

Principles are those things that holds you as a person, differentiates you from the next individual….but that is my definition, the English dictionary says: a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behaviour or for a chain of reasoning.
what are your principles? what are your fundamental beliefs or behaviour?
In the daily life of this human being I call me, I was able to learn new truths about myself, or lets just say reconfirmation of certain truths. One is that I am frank, open, honest, and direct in speech or writing, especially when dealing with unpalatable matters.   I have for a long time known that but this week i was able to deal with it, and see myself from another point of view.With synonyms such as: plain, straight, straightforward, explicit, unequivocal, candid, direct,etc I noted that was being more straight forward than candid.

To get to where I want to reach with this topic for today, what I want to say is that just as when detangling hair one needs a list of things, one to define who they are what they stand for, what are their principles we all need those things.

One, we need a mirror, a mirror in this case is an honest friend, to tell you like it is without pretence or fear.
Two, we need conditioner, the restoring, the hope that things can get better. Conditioner restores the hair, gives it shine, repairs damages,etc. That is belief in a better tomorrow.
Three, we need hands: we need to do the work ourselves, our parents will not, our friends will not, as much as your pastor is a loving person and very mentoring he/she will not do the work for you. It is a personal journey.
Four, we need a wide-tooth comb, one can not enclose themselves away from everything and everyone and expect to learn or develop anything new. In this case what I mean is exposure, experience, information, people….
Five, we all need patience. Rome was not built in a day.Look at the great men and women that we consider our heroes and role models ( Nelson Mandela, Wangari Maathai, Martin Luther King Jr., Billy Graham, Margaret Thatcher, Steve Jobs, Maya Angelou,etc) they are all share an element of age. Look at the age at which they were finally famed? Take your time in working on your foundation. Patience is a virtue.
Six, we all need water. Water is life. John 14: 6. Jesus is the way, the truth and life. Get connect to Jesus.

P.s : thank you for reading, and your comments and suggestion, which I appreciate very much are being worked on. Next post will cover relationships and my take.As one of you asked. Keep it right here for that and send in what you would like me to write about.


downloadWe all know about love at first sight. They say it’s beautiful,magical and just like a movie. How about friendship at first sight, sound funny,right. But it’s more than beautiful or magical, and no movie know about it.

We met in a meeting, I sat next to her, she made a joke and I was the  only one  who got it. Not that the joke wasn’t funny, but cause you had to be a certain way (weird, I guess…lol) to have gotten it. We hit it off that time, no need of what’s your name or how are yous or what’s your favorite this or what’s your dislikes.
It was great, we were like long lost sisters. We all love writing, love the same type of music, love teaching kids… We were so close, we could feel when something was wrong with the other just by guts, we weren’t shy to shed tears in front of each other, coz we knew, the other will wipe them away. We talked about everything and about nothing. We were inspirational source to each other. My pain was hers, so was hers, mine.
But by time went by, things went back to normal, we didn’t know each other, we hardly said “hi” when we met, un-responded messages, back to the crossroads, back to two strangers in a meeting.
However, I think ‘the how’re yous and what’s your name’ were needed, cause just as I  didn’t see her coming it is as I didn’t see her leave. I felt like I had shared history, memories and dreams with a stranger,but again, she was just a stranger.

_ by Kanziza  Linda Raissa



We live with ourselves

purple beauty on the entry door

When the only person you’re supposed to talk to

Or the only shoulder to cry on
Or the only mirror you have
Or the subconscious to consult
Is the one you can no longer look in the eyes
Or trust your tears with
Or the one you can’t utter a word too
That’s when you realize that in this world, you’re all by yourself
That the pain is real and is all yours
The road is way to long but thick too
The sorrow and agony are too real
The screams are only in your head
The scar bleeds from the inside
The perfect smile is too fake
The words are meaningless
But then again, it was just a dream ,a  nightmare
Just  another ugly joke
The worse horror movie you’ve ever watched
The prank that surely worked.
But it’s all over now,
The smile is back
The crazy laughter is louder
The hugs are more tighter
The talk  is realpurple beauty
The tears are shed but shared
The bridges are rebuilt
The presence completes
Because that’s the one way you know her and  always will… No matter what.

 purple beauty two


I feel like sitting in the night cold and cry and cry it all out then my mother comes and holds me and makes everything feel better.

Except i don’t know why i want to cry, I have no reason to cry at the moment but yet my tears linger on, begging me to spill them out, to release them. To cry a river in this  very hot September weather.


There are those songs that make one feel like you miss someone but you cant put your hand to who it might be, my song is NDAGUKUNDA by King James, a Rwandan artist, the song basically says ”  I love you, even though sometimes I  lack the words to say.. I feel like hugging you and be calm, my love, my rib…” the beat and everything just makes go weak somewhere and I start missing what never was. The song plays on reply for long then I go to grand piano by Nicki Minaj. These two songs for me go hand in hand even though they are not related as one speaks about love and the other betray.

There are those things we seek for but don’t know how to voice, like crying, its hard to tell someone I want to cry for no apparent reason, I want my heart so broken that I cry like crazy ( but not in that type of way like death or such things). Or have that one person who broke my heart so bad that I seat down and cry for days about it, and be telling people “it hurts, don’t wish for it”.

There, out there in the cold, i wanna take a long walk and cry myself out during a jog, then fall in the arms of the one I love. is that so much to ask for.

I miss my mom

Miss you mama

irene 20150519_160330

I  give in, I’m going to cry.

the journey before the cut

I have had natural hair all my life. But, that does not mean i have had healthy hair all my life. May hair has had its days of unhealthiness, mistreatment, breakage, chops,big chops and all that comes with ignorance of how to take care of ones natural hair.

As we learn from others, i don’t know how one day I was bored in my room and was surfing the net  I found this Natural hair thing,  I was impressed by how much dedication women put on their hair and the results were there to reimburse their struggle. Normally, i tell myself i have good hair, it is also a fact  😉 just kidding. Anyhow, i have been told to have good hair, i mean my mother has the most gorgeous hair ever…never mind this is my hair


straight from washing
straight from washing

so after i saw the article i become youtube addict watching everything about 4Chair, even learning the lingo was like learning for my assignements. It took me a month, then i started washing my hair at home stopped using heat and all those damaging products. That was last year 2014 around November. since that time i have gotten a lot of compliments regarding my hair and a lot of jealous girls- i feed off people’s jealousy,lol – b/c of my hair. As i keep on reading and learning about hair i have noticed what i have been doing wrong and the only way to remedy the mistakes is doing a cut. Or  not………………..PhotoGrid_1442922567711