I feel like sitting in the night cold and cry and cry it all out then my mother comes and holds me and makes everything feel better.

Except i don’t know why i want to cry, I have no reason to cry at the moment but yet my tears linger on, begging me to spill them out, to release them. To cry a river in this  very hot September weather.


There are those songs that make one feel like you miss someone but you cant put your hand to who it might be, my song is NDAGUKUNDA by King James, a Rwandan artist, the song basically says ”  I love you, even though sometimes I  lack the words to say.. I feel like hugging you and be calm, my love, my rib…” the beat and everything just makes go weak somewhere and I start missing what never was. The song plays on reply for long then I go to grand piano by Nicki Minaj. These two songs for me go hand in hand even though they are not related as one speaks about love and the other betray.

There are those things we seek for but don’t know how to voice, like crying, its hard to tell someone I want to cry for no apparent reason, I want my heart so broken that I cry like crazy ( but not in that type of way like death or such things). Or have that one person who broke my heart so bad that I seat down and cry for days about it, and be telling people “it hurts, don’t wish for it”.

There, out there in the cold, i wanna take a long walk and cry myself out during a jog, then fall in the arms of the one I love. is that so much to ask for.

I miss my mom

Miss you mama

irene 20150519_160330

I  give in, I’m going to cry.