Strong people’s problem


Have you ever been told that you’re the only shoulder to cry on

And wonder when their shoulders will ever carry you ;
That you lift them up when they have fallen down
But where are they when they are straight up;
That you are their back bone
But never stand up for you;
That you’re their right-hand man
But they are never be right with you!
Like a shining star that brightens the nightdownload
But will never see the light of the day.
You know their lowest moment
Wipe there first tear drop
Pamper their scars.

I’ll be your wings whenever your legs  won’t carry you,
I’ll be your protective armor in whatever you’ll go through,
I’ll play the strongest
But I’m dead in the inside.
I’ll swallow my pride to lift your spirit up;
I’ll give you a smile while I’m tormented in the inside
I’ll lend you an ear and listen to you keenly, while my demons that are slowly killing me;
My cry would only be heard by my bedroom walls and my tears dried by the pillow
I’ll have the best moments but can’t enjoy them alone
But I hang on hoping and wishing it will be better tomorrow,
And finally realize that I need you as much as you need me.

images

Advertisements

Something is in the water: Kendrick Lamar


“It gets even deeper than that for me. I could be talking all day about it.”

 Kendrick Lamar, this guy is my new obsession. Instead of studying for my coming exams. I am here, listening to his songs. Especially the song King Kunta. I think Mr. Lamar is a poet, that nigger can say things that make you think. Or not.

“It gets even deeper than that for me. I could be talking all day about it.”

So as any poet, there is always these behind the story, behind the words, behind the person, behind the tone, forward literal meaning,nothing is as as it should be. Maybe it’s because you were reading a certain book or anything. So it seems many want to say, Kendrick wrote the song after seeing or reading about Kunta Kinta. So I went ahead and googled Kunta Kinta.

Kunta is is a character in the novel Roots: The Saga of an American Family by  Alex Haley.

Haley_roots

So the story goes: One day some guy named Kunta was minding his own business searching for wood, then all of a sudden some men  who don’t respect other people’s hustle start chasing him. Kunta was taken captive and him and others were put on a slave ship.  So the ship sealed and sealed  all the way to North America. Kunta Keeps on minding his business and grinding ( we all know what happened to slaves……could write about it but who I’m i to say) So Kunta being a slave was suppose to be given a name, which they gave him,Toby, but as stubborn as he was rejected the name and stuck on his name and refused to talk to all those other slaves. As a man who was disturbed from wood picking, Kunta tries many times to escape. Four times! So four times was enough they gave him a choice between two: castration or cut off his right foot. He chose his foot ( well duh!) The one foot Kunta after many years, come to terms with reality that the firewood will never get to his mother in time and he resigned himself to his fate. So, Kunta got married and had a daughter Kizzy. Kizzy was sold to some other guys in North Carolina. One day, many years later she comes back home, only to find her dad had died and her mother was resold to another plantation. She goes to his grave, on the tomb was written Toby, she rubs that and writes his original name, Kunta Kinta.( Restore your fathers’honor people!) so the novel goes on and on to the generation of Alex Haley, the writer.

So, what I am trying to say, is an abstract art sometimes needs the original thinker to explain.When Kendrick mentions:

When you got the yams 
The yam is the power that be
You can smell it when I’m walking down the street
He could mean the real Yams, or using the slang for cocaine, women and all those things that makes a man fall. Or simply like a friend of mine did, he painted in his head a picture of people sitting on the edge of the grand canyon, such a nice view right? then he inserted that the couple sitting on that hood of the car talking, the slow wind breezing by were eating maize. Mahindi Choma! So, it can be that simple maybe, Kendrick just missed yams. Life can be that simple.

So back to Kendrick I would like to share a few things that makes you think from his songs:

tumblr_mufyth77rP1r4grpqo1_540

Have you ever opened up Exodus 14?
A humble man is all that we ever need
Tell me how much a dollar cost.- How Much a Dollar Cost

I remembered you was conflicted

Misusing your influence, sometimes I did the same                                                                     Abusing my power full of resentment                                                                                           Resentment that turned into a deep depression                                                                          Found myself screamin’ in the hotel room                                                                                             I didn’t wanna self destruct, the evils of Lucy was all around me                                                     So I went runnin’ for answers_ Alright

 

Would you say my intelligence now is great relief?
And it’s safe to say that our next generation maybe can sleep
With dreams of being a lawyer or doctor, instead of boy with a chopper_ M.A.A.D City

 

A rich nigga buy anything you sell him
A broke nigga believe anything that you tell him
Well I’m a broke nigga
But still I wouldn’t listen to you even if your hand was on a Bible quote,
Nigga_ Kendrick Lamar 

If I told you that a flower bloom
In a dark room would you trust it
I mean I write poems and then songs
Dedicated to you_ Poetic Justice

download

kendricklamarquote1kendrick-zoom-c2e53004-3b37-4f1b-b6d4-d88916172754

kendrick-lamar-grammys-performance

“It gets even deeper than that for me. I could be talking all day about it.”

What is it that you give in a relationships ?


Once I said I was going to talk about relationships but all over a sudden i got the heat for hair things and entirely forgot. Sorry to those who waited for it and were disappointed. I am working on it though so that  I can have a separate section for natural hair and another for such topics as this. Please bare with me as  i organize myself.

So my take on relationships.

“It is up to each person to recognize his or her true preferences.”
Isabel Briggs Myers
 One of my friends’sister is getting married soon. I have never been so excited about two people getting married like these two. Why, you may ask. One is that, this couple is probably one in a million, or billion. The guy has had a crush on the girl since class five. 18++ years later they are getting married. The long and short of this story is that they give me hope for a proper relationship not the one that is presented to us in the media. There is work in a relationship, there is family involved in a relationship. You cannot give what you don’t have. If you don’t know who you are. What you stand for. What are your boundaries. How far are you willing to go. If you cannot be intentional or what it means to be intentional. I believe these things are important,if you can’t answer any of them, what are you offering? A body????
 I  can say there is a lot  involved for it to come to be, sustenance and growth. Have you ever looked at something and it’s just there, where it was a year ago, no progress. I hate such friendships, you always have to walk on tip toes with such people, on eggshells all the time, you can’t  be frank with them ( I have a thing for frankness) you can’t be honest because they will stop talking to you. Such friendships suck big time y’all! I take the same take on relationships,  if we ain’t moving mountains lets just crumble this whole thing.

 

‘ if love can be chemically induced does it matter if the lovers will do the dry cleaning anyways? the point The Effect ( A singaporean theatre production) makes is that there is a difference between infatuation and love. The former can be kindled by volatile chemicals made to react under controlled situations, but love requires steady hard work unfazed by personal catastrophe.’

– Akshita Nanda

Relationships is about something bigger, than just momentary, monetary pleasures. It is about love. It’s about growth.

I am an ENFP( one of the sixteen types of personality.) meaning i don’t like monotonous things. I prefer to focus externally, the world around me,  I prioritize people and emotions. I am curious to know what makes people tick. So, intellectual curiosity is very important to me. This is to mean that, relationships require a conversation. A relationship is a between two people, if you cannot hold a conversation going for more than one hour what are you doing. Which brings me to the next thing I think people of my age should consider, long term.

A relationship is long term. You select this human being and decide to upgrade them on the higher scale of friendship by adding romance. This human being will affect you, change you, influence you, understand you, be there for you, hold you down. If it’s a two days thing then it’s not a relationship. And won’t it be nice to invest in something that will make us happy for such a long time. I mean have pity on your heart and brain. Introducing each month or year to your heart a new human being and ending up broken is hard.

So may take really is, relationships is a lot  of work, but when you enjoy what you are doing time passes by so fast. So select that one human being who makes life fun and upgrade him/her from the friendship level to the romance level. Remember what they say: are you equally yorked?
Jo-

Trim Natural Hair


“The time has come to lay that baggage down and leave behind all the struggling and striving. You can be set free as you journey forward into a balanced healthy and rewarding future.” 

― Sue Augustine, When Your Past Is Hurting Your Present

This also applies  to hair.

You have to get to a time where/when you have to leave behind the split ends, damaged, won’t curl hair. That  hair has to go!!! You need a trim. I am not saying to big chop ( cut a big chunk of hair, but some of us might need to just big chop and start afresh….but hey!not everything is for everyone)

So why do we need a trim? One is that that the ends of out hair are damaged ( read the post:Hair not growing! this is why) so apart from bad ends making the hair not grow, there are others like your hair  lacking shape and movement, breaking,  noticeable split ends, frizzy, the list goes on.

.transitioning split-ends_336x397_14

But there is a solution, there is always a solution to every problem.

9c1f68d262aff1153b8716f3011683da

To solve this all you need is just sharp scissors.

Let’s take the case that you have just removed you protective style, you have detangled ( please be careful in detangling, remember your hair is weak) and have decided to get rid of the damaged hair.  What I personally do is two strand twist my hair then cut of that part that seems so thin.Hair-Trim

Another methode, that experts recommend, is to blow out your hair using minimum heat so that you are able to see the damages then cut.  hqdefault

There is really no science to trimming, just look where the damage is and cut! and watch what difference it will make. Yes the length might seem short but healthy will always beat length any day.

@businessandmommyhood

Benefits of a trim: healthier ends, less breakage: getting rid of the split ends will cause a reduction in hair breakage,

Retain length : getting a trim will help you retain length due to the reduction in hair breakage and split ends. When you have split ends and don’t take care of them, the split travels up the hair shaft and stunts hair growth

Easier Styling :detangling is much easier when your hair is even and can reduce the amount of time and stress in your detangling process

Thicker/Fuller Look – If you don’t get a trim, the split ends will start to taper off and your hair will look thinner

img_3210.jpg

If you need a trim please, trim. Be it in relationships, or hair. No need for excess luggage. In the end  the weight sucks your happiness and your health. Let’s aim for quality relationships, friendships and hair rather than quantity.

Healthy over Lengthy. 

P.S    I would like to appreciate  my friend Lydia so much. We have been through a lot together these past 12 years! ( OH MYYYY 12 YEARS!!!!!) She gives me courage to continue. Thank You Lydia. Tout mon amour.

Jo_

Appreciation.


 

 

I’d like to think I do a lot,
That I do more than what is asked.
But then again, I’d rather not,
For my discontent can’t be masked.

I don’t appreciate it when my love and affection isn’t reciprocated.

I’m patient.

I’m selfless.

If I work hard and try my best,
I should accept that’s to expect.
If I slack off and fail my test,
Lack of trying, they will detect.

I do this and I do that,
But I shouldn’t dare point it out.
If I do, I’ll be a brat,
Who only knows how to pout.

I’m loyal.

But, only to an extent and I wish people wouldn’t constantly test me. My heart can only give so much until I’ve got nothing else to give.