We live with ourselves

purple beauty on the entry door

When the only person you’re supposed to talk to

Or the only shoulder to cry on
Or the only mirror you have
Or the subconscious to consult
Is the one you can no longer look in the eyes
Or trust your tears with
Or the one you can’t utter a word too
That’s when you realize that in this world, you’re all by yourself
That the pain is real and is all yours
The road is way to long but thick too
The sorrow and agony are too real
The screams are only in your head
The scar bleeds from the inside
The perfect smile is too fake
The words are meaningless
But then again, it was just a dream ,a  nightmare
Just  another ugly joke
The worse horror movie you’ve ever watched
The prank that surely worked.
But it’s all over now,
The smile is back
The crazy laughter is louder
The hugs are more tighter
The talk  is realpurple beauty
The tears are shed but shared
The bridges are rebuilt
The presence completes
Because that’s the one way you know her and  always will… No matter what.

 purple beauty two


30 facts about me

  1. What is your full name? Josepha Melanie last name should probably not feature here for privacy reasons, with nicknames such as Dino,  Jojo, Jayjay, Joo, Mela, etc.
  2. Are you named after anyone? Yes, my grandfather- Joseph- he died a week before  I was born, my last name is also connected to him…long story for another day.
  3. When is your birthday? August 6 , August born kids rule!!
  4. Do you have any siblings? Yes, 2 brothers and one big sister. I’m the third born
  5. Why is your blog named so? Honestly, I couldn’t think of a name for it, so what best thing to do than take your room number, 209. As for Orange flowers, there is this very beautiful tree at home that has orange coloured flowers.
  6. When was the last time you cried? Here’s the thing: I cry a lot. It’s always behind closed doors, but it’s still a lot. I’m not a wimp or anything; quite the opposite anyone who knows me  can tell you that I’m just a very sensitive person who cares a lot (maybe too much) about a lot of things, and so it causes me to get teary-eyed all the time. Anyway, with that cleared up, I think the last time I cried was this morning while listening to this song by a Rwandan gospel artist, Israel Mbonyi. Reminded me how far the Lord has brought me. Plus so many things to be thankful about.
  7. What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their hair, I’m obsessed with hair. Especially if it’s a girl with natural hair, then I look at their eyebrows ( when I’m bored in a public place I start looking at the different shapes of people’s eyebrows, don’t judge!)                                    images
  8. Computer or television? Computer! There’s no way to write with a TV.
  9. Where were you born? Rwanda! Yeehaw
  10. What are your hobbies? Writing (about anything in any medium), reading (books, magazines, newspapers, blogs, etc.), eating, hair braiding ( again my obsession with hair) YouTube videos,  running ( I run three times a week) Keep it here for my  keep healthy tips coming soon!
  11. Favorite movie? Sorry, but I absolutely cannot pick just one! Dear John( I have watched it a million times) Lion King… ( my mind goes blank will get back to you on that)
  12. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Change Maker 🙂
  13. What was(were) your favorite subject(s) at school? Philosophy, civics, Geography, History that was high school. I loathed physics. I didn’t know what was being said and still don’t know. I don’t know how I passed or did I??????????????
  14. What is your favorite drink? WATER. Pure water.
  15. What is your favorite song at the moment? Again, I can’t pick just one, so I  Ndanyuzwe by Israel Mbonyi,  Geronimo by Sheppard, Je lui dirai by Celine Dion, Grand Piano by Nicki Minaj ( the instruments are great) Awe by Asa. Search for them and listen. Trust me: You won’t be disappointed.
  16. What is your favorite food? Mashed potatoes. If chocolate is food then that’s it ( could give anything for a Toblerone right now
  17.  Favorite book of all time? Black Boy by Richard Wright. ( read it while in primary school, then it got lost, would want to read it again)                                                           recently have loved Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie                                    ” I had already begun to sense that my feelings varied too far from those of the people around me for me to blab about what I felt.” Richard Wright Richard-Wright-Quotes-2                                       
  18. Favorite color? Green, since 3rd grade.
  19. Do you speak any other language(s)? Yes! French,Swahili, Kinyarwanda, Kirundi.df13861b2663d15174cc5d69651d79dc.655x308
  20. Favorite TV show? Of all time, Friends, CSI, Cold case, being Mary Jane ( there is something about Mary Jane I admire)
  21. What’s your most embarrassing moment? ……Ahem…Well, let’s just say that some are best kept unwritten. (Ask privately)

                                   “Thanks for making it this far”

22. I’m currently doing my BA in Community Development.

23 .  It has been a month since I got my first piercing.

24. Accepting compliments is something I am not good at.                                                                    compliment

25. When I was in my teens I wrote a lot of poetry.

26. I give up really easily when things aren’t going well.

27.  I am not a sheep. I have my own opinions and am quite happy to express them.

28. Best quote of all time :ask-your-self                                               Thank you going all the way here,  I appreciate.

29. Sunday 25th October I ran the Nairobi Marathon, which is the Stanchart sponsored marathon which helps the Blind children.    “Run for a reason”

30. I love you for taking your time to read this.



Friends for all seasons and reasons

No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Seems you’re the only one who knows what it’s like to be me
Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with
Someone I’ll always laugh with
Even at my worst, I’m best with you, yeah!

It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year

I’ll be there for you

This is the lyrics to the theme song of the famous comedy show Friends

We all have those types of friends whom we talk about this thing but can not mention the other, friends in this case I’m seeing it in my mind as a file folder.Mine, I have known them for so long! most before I even knew how to write the word: onomatopoeia.

In this piece  I will talk about 5 friends, yes there many other categories out there but these are the ones I can write home about.


  1. The Crazy Friend:

This one you greet them by insults, it is the one friends the n word, the f word the r word or whatever offensive, made-up, funny, controversial, unknown word is used as a greeting , she /he is that one you can say anything stupid with, even compose a song about the weather: ” leo jua, imewaka. imewaka imewaka, tutachomeka tutachomeka tukue makaa” with this friends everything is fun and funny. They cheer you up.


2. The academic friend

Well they know themselves! its all business with them when it comes to schooling, if you want to be serious you go to them, want to know the current affairs its them( happens mine doesn’t  watch news but its close enough), Its the person if you were in a game show you would call, the type to use the third Law of Newton to explain to you how to end a relationship.They inspire you, and make you feel like I got this, this too shall pass. oh, and ” I rather die….”( fill in the blanks)

images (2)

3. The psychologist

well, well, there is that one person who is always giving you advice, they are sane ( well lets not kid ourselves sometimes it goes haywire) but they are the type you tell your stuff to convince yourself to do the right thing. They listen to you and remind you of yesterday, what and how the situation was and compare it to today. They are the listening ear, the cushion.

4. The secret twin

she senses when you are down, when things are going wrong even after days and days without meeting or talking. Don’t know how they do it, but they text at those odd times when you have been crying. They are the ones to tell you, “that was a true laughter, come from the heart” they have one of those questions you wonder how in the world?!!!!!!????

5. The new friend

The one you are trying to know, have things in common, share stuff with, go out with. There are the ones who know things about you but not too much, they share your interests, you talk often or not. They are the ones in the filter to see where they rank, the seasonal, friends for a reason, friends with benefits, cliques, clichés, classmates, neighbours, workmates, etc.

All these five sometimes come in different packages. I think when I’m talking to my friends everyone knows what role to play( sometimes one can play the role of the other in their absence, you all think you can guess what they would say)but they are all very  important to  and sometimes their role switches depending on the situation and circumstances.

Feel the coming rain

Some people feel the rain, others just get wet

give me time to love you like you deserve

feel me near you, lets have those unplanned moments that

we so much remember after our mistakes are exposed

we live a life so fragile, so not ready to touch people’s live

not to be stained by others’emotions-or drama as we tend to call them

what if we get in and play in the rain

wear our gumboots and play in the mud and sing in the rain

oh rain how we  have waited for you

how the El Nino is waited for

others have apparently been flooded and relocated

cloud on our side of town,

rain on our side  of town

oh, how people need to feel the rain, feel others rain ,

be empathic for once, be involved for once, get entangled.

fall in love with the other so unselfishly that you feel their pain and want to get involved in their drama not just hear about it.



Some weeks back, I met a girl who had just lost her dad. I could feel her pain in her voice and see her sorrow in her eyes, I could feel she misses him. I tried to relate but I couldn’t, coz I don’t know the feeling of loosing a dad.
I lost my dad before I turned two, i never had  the chance to feel losing him. I think that i don’t miss him either, cause you miss what you had, what you knew, what you felt… I never experience that. I don’t remember him holding me or calling my name, i don’t even remember his face or know his face, if his ghost ever  ” visit” me, I think he’ll first have to introduce himself.
The first time i saw his picture, though ( a black and white profile picture, the only one my mum had left of him) i felt like i was looking at the male version of me, so to those who say I’m a photocopy my mum, you’re wrong.. I look more like my dad. I stared at the picture and saw my eyes in his, his dark skin on me, i ware his kinky hair, and his dimples  almost made it on face and I was told that I have his finger nails and toe nails.
My mum don’t talk that much about him, the culture don’t allow to talk about the dead. So I don’t know much about his character, but I hear he was calm and reserved, unfortunately, I didn’t get that part of him, my older brother did. I’m talkative and I speak my mind. But, one day, we were watching TV, and an old song was playing ( je t’aime by Shaky and Aviva) I immediately liked it, I told my mum that I like the song, her eyes lit and she put on a smile and told me that that song was one of my dad’s favorites. She went on and told me that he loved music and he would listen to it all night. That night i played that song ’till morning dawn.
So, maybe I’m wrong, cause next time I comb my kinky hair or I put on music when I’m about to sleep, I’ll know that I miss him, even though I never knew him.

by Kanziza Linda Raissa


When your friend sends you such a thing, you can only wonder what kind of friend you have been. Have known her for almost ten years nw, but have never come to talk about her dad. Selfish me. Can only pray to be a better friend